“Do you have balls?”
“You moron! respect me!”
“I am your responsibility take care of me!”
These are few sweet words said to men whenever their manhood need to be challenged. It’s easy and many men fall in the trap. Men, when try to stay away from fights/issues, they are addressed with the above statements. What happened in Ramayan and Mahabharat where lacs of men died to protect 2 women whereas the wars actually started from mistakes of women (kaikai forcing Ram to Vanvas or Suparnkha trying to molest Ram or for that matter Draupadi making fun of Duryodhan (it’s always ok to make fun of a man)? In a country where rape is considered as nation-wide issue (even it involves a frustrated criminal not getting sex) but lynching of men in public by crowd is considered as an individual case where people tried to became protectors. Today, millions of men are paying the price of being protector & provider through various biased laws.
Sacrifices by men are never acknowledged – let us forget about appreciating them. It is always highlighted that girls in poor families work in kitchen at a tender age, but it is never discussed that even younger boys in the same family are asked to work at tea stalls or food joints to wash utensils. Even at very young age, they are asked to run families, earn so that they can marry their sisters and take care of ailing parents.
Babloo, a 12yr old boy, sells cigarettes and tea outside my office, when asked “Why don’t you go to school?”, he said “Apni bahen ki shadi karni hai ab wo 17 yr ki ho gayi hai. Pitaji ka dehant ho chuka hai” (Need to get 17 year old sister married, my father has passed away). So, instead of the girl taking the responsibility of family, the boy has to leave education and start earning. But feminists will never speak for this boy, they say, “A 17 year old girl is not getting married due to poverty, let’s start a scheme”. That’s how they planned #betibachaobetipadhao, #Sukanya Smridhi and many more but not even one for boys. They all include specific gender and poor boys cannot get any benefit out of them. So, why do we have such an environment? Because the focus of society is not on the man who is standing in heat for 8 hours in the fields in a remote village so that he can have a good crop, but on his daughter who is not provided with a jeans to wear.
Men are always at fault, as per society and females are always appreciated for their work. For example, you would have heard the usual discourse, “Mothers sacrifice so much for their children: they leave jobs, they take care of household stuff, they have sleepless nights, and so on”. But, no one will ever appreciate the father’s pain. They work 18 hours a day so that their kids can go to better schools, have nice life style, and better future. Sometimes, fathers are so helpless with their jobs that they don’t even get a chance to see their child growing. They come back home when their children have already slept and when they wake up, children have already gone to school. They meet their kids on Saturdays/Sundays. But on those days too, they are given with list to finish grocery shopping, paying bills, and other pending household work. So in a week, they spend hardly 4-5 hours with a kid for whom they are spending more than 90 hours in office during the same week. You would hear “Respect women around you” but never “Respect Men around you”.
Even if we see men doing the most dangerous jobs of cleaning sewage without proper protection, extinguishing fires while risking their lives, dying in wars for sake of country but the focus, in general, is on one question: ‘”Can we provide safety to drunk women who are going home at 03:00 AM in the morning?”. So, when we can’t provide safety to those poor kids and men in difficult jobs, why can’t women take their own responsibility.
The other day, one of my friend working in an MNC, while coming back from the office, got bitten by a dog while getting down from the cab in the night; there was no escort for him because as per social mindset every man is immune to attacks and cannot be killed. Escort services in all the private companies and government organizations are only provided to women because men cannot be attacked. Women are provided with escorts so that they can be protected from rape but which government statistics are collecting data for rape on men? For that matter, all the crimes happening on men, are we really counting? Because when some accidents, natural calamity happens, it is always the women and child who have to be saved first. It’s never men! This may be because they are disposable, their lives are not worth or they are in abundance so – let them die.
The concern is that man has been ignored as a human being. Even if they are killed, if they are raped, if they commit suicides, no one bothers. Their sacrifices are never valued because they are being considered as their duty. So, if a woman wants to do job or household work, travel for fun or carry on with her passion , she does have choice but does a man have the same choice? Can a man who doesn’t want to do a job and want to carry on with his passion get this option? No! He is questioned “If you will not pick a good job, how are you going to run your family?”. He has no escape route, he has no option of failure in life because he has to be a provider and protector for his family.
Photo Courtesy: Crimollo